Do you believe in ghosts? This was the beginning of a «story-telling café» I went some time ago.
If the question makes you think about ghosts you will probably go beyond the image of the white sheet ghosts. The phantasmagoria of our minds is so powerful that we could spend days writing about all the things that frighten us. For example…
- Breaking up a relationship that is taking us nowhere because we fear feeling lonely.
- Applying for a certain job.
- Something bad happening to our beloved ones.
- Contradicting someone because we fear conflict.
The list is long, and I could go on and on. The reason for this is that fear is something created by our own minds and it can be as diverse as human idiosyncrasy. As a Psychologist, I tend to explain fear based on psychological theories, that is, fear is considered a basic, natural, and primitive emotion that alerts us of danger. From this perspective, you can perceive fear as an adaptive function that helps us prevent something that could be life-threatening. However, most of us do not live in the jungle, so physical dangers are minimal and what we perceive as a threat are likely to be psychological fears which more often than not are not real. Thus, the issue here is: where do we put a limit on fear?
Giving fear a space is like opening a can of worms. And what creates fear in one person does not create it in others. Again, we turn to the idea of fear as a mental construction that is part of our nature as human beings, who have a conscience, chronological time awareness, and language. Therefore, we bring meaning to our fears based on these three aspects, risking turning our psychological fear into absolute truth.
That’s why I love the question arising from the «story-telling café»:
Does fear help us?
I do not think so.
The reason why I talk about fear in my blog is because coaching is about breaking patterns, changing our outlook and daring us to feel more alive, attitudes that require to be brave at some point. If we make room for our ego, the part of us that always wants to have everything under control, the one who says: «don’t go this way», «don’t trust that person», we will always put limits to personal growth.
That is why I invite you to overcome your own fear, so you can discover infinite possibilities, explore the world beyond your own limits and expand your skills. Until we have the courage to feel the fear and jump anyway, we may miss out on the opportunity of feeling more alive.